Cousins

In the post titled, “Too Cold to Sleep Alone”, I promised to unravel the puzzle of the Lavender cousins’ plural marriage to William Bateman. Here is chapter two in that saga.

 

James Lavender

Thomas Lavender

James and Thomas Lavender were brothers, born at the turn of the century in 1801 and 1804, respectively, in Cardington, Bedfordshire, England. Their father was John Lavender and their mother had the delightful name of Mary Mutton Lavender.

As an adult, James faithfully attended a church in Bedford which was presided over by the Reverend James Fielding. When Reverend Fielding met the first LDS missionaries sent to England, news of the restored gospel excited him and he invited them to come to Bedford and preach to his congregation.  

James Lavender was in that congregation and believed the preaching of the Latter-day Saint missionaries. He was baptized on Christmas day in 1837. Many others in the congregation were also converted to the faith and soon two Mormon branches were organized. James was ordained an Elder by Willard Richards to preside over the branches when the missionaries departed. Three years later James and his wife Mary Ann departed for America, arriving in Salt Lake City in about 1841.

It is unknown if Thomas was presented the gospel at the same time that his brother was converted, but he and his family remained in England. His conditions were described as “very well to do” and he held a position as a “fancy gardener”.

Fourteen years later James returned to England as the Mission President of the Bedfordshire Mission. Thomas opened his home to his faithful brother to use as the mission headquarters. The arrangement was positive and Thomas’s family was baptized in 1858. 

Histories state that when James returned to Utah at the end of his missionary assignment, Thomas sent his three daughters (Susan, Mary, and Elizabeth “Betsy”) with him to Utah, however, ship manifests lead me to believe that James sent the three girls ahead. They sailed on the boat “Underwriter”, departing March 30, 1860, from Liverpool and arrived May 1^st in New York. James' name is recorded on the ship manifest the following year along with the name of his brother Thomas.

After they arrived in America the three sisters crossed the plains to the West. Susan and Mary pulled handcarts, but Betsy was more fortunate. She was acting as nurse to a man’s sick wife, and was able to ride in the wagon most of the time.

In Salt Lake City, James had made arrangements for two of Thomas’s daughters to stay with families that needed domestic help. He had different plans for Betsy.

Sarah Lavender Bateman

Betsy Lavender Bateman

James had a married daughter, Sarah, who was in very poor health and was struggling to care for her large family of seven children. James had persuaded Betsy to become the plural wife of his daughter’s husband, William Bateman, to help care for her cousin Sarah’s children. It is interesting that histories don’t mention either William or Sarah’s feelings about this marriage; only that James felt it was the right course, making it sound like an arranged marriage. Betsy was fifteen years younger than Sarah. According to church custom at the time, Sarah, the first wife, would have given her approval of the union. William and Betsy were sealed in the Salt Lake Endowment House in 1861.

After the marriage, Sarah bore one more child and Betsy bore three children, bringing the combined total to eleven. The two families all lived together under one roof in very meager circumstances. Betsy labored diligently crocheting, knitting, sewing and doing everything she could to help make a living for the two families.

Less than six years later William passed away and Betsy moved with her three children, returning again to the household of her Uncle James.

Betsy later married Rosser Jenkins and bore two more children. This union lasted five years until Rosser died after which Betsy finished rearing her family alone, providing for them through frugality and hard work.

Betsy is my Great, Great Grandmother, the grandmother of my Grandmother Ethel Hurst Speas. 

Saints Pray to Calm the Sea

When the first LDS Missionaries came to England in 1837, Willard Richards and John Goodson went to Bedford. James Lavender (my Great, Great, Great Uncle) heard their message and was impressed to embrace the gospel. 

He was baptized on Christmas Day that same year. James immigrated to America, and urged his brothers and sister to follow.  

James received a call to return to Bedford as a Mission President and used the home of his brother Thomas (my Great, Great, Great Grandfather) as the mission headquarters. 

Thomas Lavender

After converting Thomas's family, James encouraged them to emigrate to America. It was decided that the three girls - Susan, Mary and Elizabeth would go first; then the next year the remainder of the family would follow. On Mar. 30, 1860, the three girls sailed on the ship Underwriter. 

The rest of the family followed later on the packet ship, Manchester.  The journey on the Manchester was very perilous and the passengers suffered much sickness and hardship.  

On one of the particularly stormy days of the ship's tossing and turning, Thomas fell, injuring one of his legs and crippling him for the rest of his life. 

The roughest day of the voyage came on May 7th. At noon they were off shore where danger could come from the rocks. The waves were mountainous, and the ship was nearly on her beam ends. It was dangerous to be moving about, especially on deck, and many were sick, however the passengers were calm and hushed into silence. 

It was a different matter with the crew who were extremely alarmed. The Captain and first mate rushed below and the first mate spoke to the Saints in a trembling voice, "We will be all drowned in a few minutes. I have been on sea 20 years, and never experienced such an awful storm before." 

Then the captain spoke to David John, one of the Bishops, saying: "I wish you Bishops would unite yourselves together with the saints, and pray the Lord to save us, and have mercy on us, for I have heard that your people can perform miracles, and if you can--now is the time one is needed." 

Bishop John explained that they could not perform miracles, however they had already prayed before their journey for a safe voyage. He felt God would preserve them. The Captain replied, "If you do not need to pray for yourselves, pray for our sake." 

So, the Saints gathered together and prayed that the storms and the waves would become quiet and calm. In half an hour or less, the waters became perfectly calm. One week later the ship cast anchor nine miles off New York and after a period of quarantine, the company continued their journey to join the saints.

Too cold to sleep alone

This is one of my very favorite family tales. It is about a relative named Joseph Hyrum Bateman. How is that for a solid Mormon name? 

Unfortunately, it is challenging to define his family connection. He is the son of William and Sarah Lavender Bateman. William is my Great, Great Grandfather. However, from there it becomes complicated. I descend through a different wife of William, Elizabeth Lavender, who is actually a cousin to Sarah Lavender. Confused? Does that make Joseph Hyrum a cousin, a step cousin, a step uncle, one of these options once or twice removed? That will be a puzzle and a story for another day. Stay tuned. 

Joseph Hyrum was born March 7, 1853, in Cedar City. By the winter of 1876 he was living in Richmond, Utah. He told the following story of how he decided to get to get married. 

Too cold to sleep alone

Evidently he had been “keeping company” with Sylvia Amelia Glazier (the 1880 Census spells her name Silva). He related that one night he slept extremely cold. When he got up the next morning he decided he wasn’t going to sleep cold and alone ever again. So he trudged through the snow to his girlfriend's house and asked her to marry him. They were married that day, December 28th.